Sunday, June 14, 2009


Creationism is not the only myth we can subject to critical thinking. Take ghosts, for example:
  1. If ghosts are the spirits of people who have died and thus returned, then why aren't they everywhere?

    1. Millions die every year.
      1. In a couple of decades there would be billions
    2. "Spirits" are considered eternal.
      1. So we should be hip-deep in them. (And we have no way to get rid of them.)
    3. Only a handful of sightings per month.
      1. Most are readily explained.

  2. If ghosts are the spirits of the dead who have returned to fulfill a mission or purpose, then why aren't they?
    1. Say one percent of 1,000,000 have the "will-power" to return; thus at least 10,000 every year.
      1. Yet all they can do is appear and disappear, drift around, and speak through mediums.
      2. Otherwise they are firmly nailed to one location and can't leave it.
    2. Incidentally, if they have returned to watch over and protect us, why aren't they?
      1. Standing in line at a mac-fast-food joint.
        1. Noooo! Don't eat that--it's bad for you!
      2. Filing an income-tax return.
        1. Noooo, don't file that! The IRS will audit you!

  3. If we see a ghost at one location, why don't we see them everywhere?
    1. Ghosts don't obey the laws of physics.
      1. So they're not restricted to space and time.
    2. The place haunted is "special" due to a traumatic event.
      1. Traumatic is determined by the person going through it.
        1. Yet there are no ghosts haunting street corners or intersections.
    3. The place is haunted due to "special" geophysical forces.
      1. Even with a restricted combination of these "special" forces, we're looking at thousands of potential locations scattered across the globe.
        1. So we could go ghost-hunting with Google Earth.
        2. And all these "special" locations are conveniently on dry land.
            (I don't include the Devil's Triangle 'cause that's aliens, not ghosts.)
      2. If these combined "special" forces are geo-magnetic, then re-creating them in a lab will produce ghosts.
        1. We could go from bench-top to full-scale industrial ghost production.

  4. So we can conclude these basic Ghost Guidelines for the future:
    1. People do not return from the dead.
    2. Ghosts have no reason to come back.
    3. Ghosts are not everywhere thus they are nowhere.

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